humanity
The real lives of businessmen, professionals, the everyday man, stay at home parent, healthy lifestyle influencers, and general feel good human stories.
Losing you
Waves crashing. Darkness consuming. Looking into three sets of tiny eyes and speaking the words, "Daddy's body was to sick..." Endless tears. All of these things are my life now. Six months feels like six life times, and also six seconds. How could you be stolen from us? How can you be gone? Yesterday I was laying next to you. Wishing I would have held you tighter. Begging the universe for just one more second of your skin against mine. Sniffing the air hoping to just smell your scent one last time. Why did I tell our girls you would be ok? I promised them you were strong. Regretting those words once I saw your mangled body in that hospital bed. Every doctor and nurse telling me there was nothing they could do. Sitting with your empty shell overnight. Hating the woman who was driving that car. Why you? Why...you...? Searching for your light in every day. Watching for blue jays and deer. Are you out there? My soul still searches for yours. I wonder if you see me now, I'm a shell just like you were. Putting my happy mask on so the world can't look to deep. What is under these layers of pretending? Waves crashing. Darkness consuming. Oh and those tiny eyes...always watching. Would you be proud of who I am now? Half a year...how has it been so long. Look at me go, rambling on the internet, writing my feelings down. How many years has it been since I've written anything? Would you read these words? Oh love of my life why you. Why...you? Through every battle and every hardship we endured. From high school sweet hearts to burying your ashes. What is this life now without you...? I look to our girls, our three precious girls. How will I raise them without you? How will I teach them about happiness when I can't even muster up my own? They look to me for all the answers now and with my empty shell and happy mask I try my hardest to show them a future with love and happiness. I will fake it till I make it...just fake it... Ground me love. Ground me with your spirit. Guide me from the other side where your spirit now watches over us. I will watch for those blue jays and slow for those deer who cross my path. Broken...bleeding...those images just wont leave my mind. Those doctors repeating their sermon. "There's nothing we can do." How can I continue again? With those images flooding my mind. With those three sets of tiny eyes...always...watching. Do you see them when they smile? Do you see us when we go on adventures? Are you with us at night when we all can't sleep? Do you see me pursuing my dreams? I hope you know that every picture I take, It's all for you now. I will not give up or give in to this shell that has consumed me. I will fake it, I will pretend, I will endure, until I fill this empty shell again. I will take our children to the ends of the earth and back again just like we always wanted. I will not sit still...I will make you proud. Will you walk with your spirit intertwined with mine and give me your strength? You are the strongest man that has ever walked into my life and I know that just being with you for the last ten years has made me stronger. I have lost myself for now, but through this darkness I know your soul is guiding me. Those three sets of tiny eyes...waves crashing...darkness consuming...and your hand holding mine forever from the other side...
By Sage Bowman4 years ago in Journal
The Concept of Freedom
Humanity speaks about freedom as though it is an unattainable dream. And in so many ways, it is, for us and everyone impacted by us. Because the fight for freedom by one country or person or government or community still creates ripples in the small pond of our world that branch out and affect everyone else. People start wars all the time, over what? The ability to make a choice for themselves.
By Edlyn Escoto4 years ago in Journal
An Ode To The Divide
March 12, 2022 When the opening instrumentation of Alessi's "Savin' The Day" tied my contemplations to an emotional head, it brought me to thoughts of music; of how new technologies persuaded the hearts of fresh eyes to put their all--their free spirits--into the mix. Sounds like that are indescribable. Perhaps they are what we fold back into once we leave this world once again. As I look at them, I am reminded of how precious life is. How any split second difference in decision could have prevented any of us from being here. Let alone the separate decisions that could have prevented them from knowing each other. It is horrifying. Even from a young age, I have always seen myself as larger than my form. Even now, I pride myself on feeling larger than the rest. Not as an ego trip: but as someone for each and all to look up to. The parts of songs that bring my mind to glimpse the crystallization of their power seem to involve a vision of the sky, as the string of notes at hand rise powerfully into it. Almost as a love letter from our hearts, out to the farthest reaches of the Universe and the endless beings that share this world with us. Apparently pressing t in Chrome YouTube changes the theme from a white background to black and gray (grey). Try it!
By Ad-Libbing With The Z-Man4 years ago in Journal
Dear Journal
It's Friday. It is a beautiful day. It is over 70 degrees outside today. I have been optimistic the last few days. I like it. Ideas have been flooding through my brain. I try to write something everyday. I rode by some woods today and saw some tents. The homeless people are branching out or maybe there are more that have come to the area. On the other side of the street is the original area homeless people had tents in. I joked with my kids saying we are gonna be doing that. Riding by and seeing it again today made me seriously think about actually living outside. I found out that there is a thing called "glamping". It is glamorous camping. I now want to find some land and buy it. I want to get an RV or a trailer or maybe even build a house on the land. My neighbor and I had talked about buying sheds and connecting them to make a small home. There are so many benefits to living that way. The only thing for me is how do we shower and/or use the bathroom. I figure we would just take tub baths, no showers. I can get a generator for electricity. I am really considering this.
By Latoya Giles 4 years ago in Journal
Blue Jays
When I was a young girl, around the age of ten, my family owned an old, iron, birdcage. This large and beautiful cage sat in the corner of our patio, in the backyard. I cannot remember now whether it had no door at all or if we just always left it open. But, either way, the bottom of the cage was filled with a variety of seeds and nuts to attract wild birds and other little creatures to it, for them to eat at their leisure. We never closed them in. We only watched from a distance as they helped themselves to as much as they wanted.
By Brittany Ivy4 years ago in Journal
FREEDOM. The freedom to identify as me myself and I and not who society says I am
2019 was probably the rockiest year of my life with numerous ups and downs. After an abusive relationship, experiencing homelessness, and substance abuse somehow, I came into myself. I learned from every mistake, I adapted and overcame every obstacle gracefully, I learned what was truly important to me and what wasn’t. I found my independence and I learned skills and found a strength in myself I never knew I had, I grew as a person and a woman. I grew pride in myself and confidence in who I was. I became a better person. I gained respect for myself for remaining true to the values I have and never crossing limits just because things were rough. I grew so much pride in my character and my capabilities. I learned that just because I was making a few mistakes I was still the same caring, helpful, responsible honest person I’ve always been. I was living on the street I was a drug addict, and I was still so confident in the person and woman I was that no one’s opinion bothered me. No one’s comments or judgement was any of my business. In an environment like the one I was living in its easy to succumb to the ugly all around you. After being lied to, taken advantage of, physically and mentally abused, stolen from, amongst other things. No matter how hard it is keep the ugly, the resentment, the hatred the anger and any other negative energy out of your heart. If your good natured at heart remain good natured. Keep helping people, keep loving people, because if someone is taking advantage of you while you’re helping or giving to them from a genuine place in your heart then it’s not your problem. It’s their problem and karma will serve them accordingly. Nothing wrong can come from you doing anything from a good pace in your heart. When you know who you are, and you know your core values and you know your character no one can tell you otherwise and it is the best sense of freedom that you will ever experience. You gain a confidence in yourself and insecurities you had, and self-doubt disappear, I promise. If I die with nothing to show for it, I don’t care because I’ll know I was good to people and that’s the most important thing in the world to me!
By Stephanysays.blog4 years ago in Journal
The fake prison experiment
The formidable message of the prison experiment conducted by psychologist Philip Zimbardo in August 1971 is this: The power of the social context in which a human being finds himself at a given moment is often dominant over his ability to oppose it.
By Mindy Mindy4 years ago in Journal
