humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
We're All Arseholes
You’re an arsehole, I’m an arsehole, we’re all arseholes. But there are different levels of arseholery. Sometimes it is just in your mind, an errant thought. A smirk at someone stumbling, disdain at a fashion faux pas, giggling at a fail on social media. We are all arseholes.
By Q-ell Betton5 years ago in Humans
FML
I thought about writing a big fancy intro or something really clever, but fuck it. You will either read it and be entertained or click on the next story. As I sat on my couch I thought to myself "how the hell did I get here?". Have you ever had that moment? It's not a midlife crisis or a mental breakdown. I remember being 18, artistic, energetic, free thinking and unstoppable. Life loves to give you zig zags and "Oh shits!" that puts one in the current situation. I had the dream of being a creative artist and animator and yet here I am an occupational therapist. Don't get me wrong. I am honored and humbled to be able to help others, but deep down that's not who I am. It's who I thought people wanted me to be. Now that my son is off to college and I am an empty nester I am doing the unthinkable. I am finally going to be who I dreamed of being without holding back. Most of you are thinking... WTF? I totally get it. Why would I go back to school after getting a master's degree and having job security? By the way when I went to school to be an occupational therapist I was 35 and it was a master degree program. If you decide to go that path it's now a doctorate. If you know the names Jay Shetty and Vishen Lakhiani then you understand why I'm doing this. If you have no clue who the hell those people are the idea is do what makes you happy and you'll make money. I highly recommend their podcasts by the way. Lots of insights and a-ha moments. I realized that creating is what makes me happy and animation. I could spend all day just creating and crafting. I've actually have begun painting in oils. Do I have any idea of what I'm doing? Absolutely not, but I'm figuring it out and Youtube is great with lots of how to videos.
By April Ratchford 5 years ago in Humans
Of Molecules and Mortality: How Wikipedia Sent Me Into a Death Spiral and Ripped The Still-Beating Childhood Right Out of My Chest.
It is a universal truth that the greatest revelations in life come to us when we're crumpled in a sobbing heap on a dingy dorm room carpet at 3:00 in the morning.
By James P.V. Miller5 years ago in Humans
Hand Dryers in Public Washrooms
Public washrooms are a really good place to do some serious people watching eh? Like . . . let me rephrase that okay! What I mean to say is that whenever I go into a public washroom I notice things that just make me want to take out my camera and start taking pictures . . . er, uh . . . this is not going well, let me start again . . .
By John Oliver Smith5 years ago in Humans
The Games Children Play
I didn’t grow up in an age of play-dates or in a zip code where themed birthday parties were the norm. On your birthday, if you lived in my neighborhood, you got together for cake and ice cream and general mayhem with some neighbor kids and a few cousins close to your own age. It was Wisconsin. The rules were different. Although it wasn’t too unusual for a classmate to invite a few friends, it was unheard of for a classmate to invite an entire class to their birthday party. So when I got the invitation to Billy’s party it was a big deal. It broke all the rules. First, he lived more than two blocks outside my neighborhood. Second, we weren’t BFF’s; we weren’t even F’s. And third we weren’t on the same pee-wee baseball team, we knew each other were playing different sports if you know what I mean. I was more likely to get an invitation to his little sister’s party than his. I had full confidence that this invitation was a result of some cock-eyed idea Billy’s pseudo-progressive mom had heard about from Dear Abby or her sister Ann Landers. It was definitely something she hadn’t fully thought through before she started the ball rolling.
By Lee Melahn5 years ago in Humans
The Ken Saga
It all started with a doll. It was a joke; it wasn’t taken seriously by any of us—we just wanted a laugh. We never expected it to grow into the great shenanigan that it ultimately evolved into. Granted, it’s hilarious, but it was never our intent. We were simply looking for a fun way to pass the time and be creative.
By Jessica C.5 years ago in Humans
The Furby Incident
This incident happened after the Furby came out. So my sister, who I consider to be my best friend, and I was little girls (we are now in our 30’s, lol) that shared a bedroom. One night, our parents had to run to the store so they told us to get in bed as we had school the next day. So kids being kids, we did not go directly to sleep. We were up laughing and talking about random things that were popular at the time (1998, oh take me back). By this time it is 9 pm and we are still wide awake. One of us decided that it was a good idea to activate the Furby that we got for Christmas. Solid plan, until the moment we hear our parents’ vehicle pulling into the driveway. My sister and I rush, as quietly yet quickly, as we could back to our beds. Meanwhile, Furby McFurberson, not the name, by the way, was still chatting like we were not about to get into trouble with our parents. We’re shushing this thing, but it just keeps talking saying that it is hungry and some other things that I can hardly remember. We hear the car doors slam and our hearts are racing in our chests. Either our parents were going to think the house was haunted since this toy was just talking to no one or they were going to punish us for not doing as they told us to do. Of course, we would have hoped for the first outcome because who wants to get punished for not being obedient, right? Now they are walking up the three stairs that lead onto the porch, they are almost here. Any other time it seems like they would take their time getting inside the house, like when you really needed them for something. The Furby is still talking. For the first time in my young life, I considered murder but would get in trouble for getting out of bed. The screen door creaks open and our parents are talking with each other. I look at my sister and she’s looking at me while this darn toy just won’t stop. At the exact moment we hear the key go into the door, the Furby announces, very loudly, that it was sleepy. Great, so shut up and go to sleep already. It goes through its “sleep” routine of snoring like an owl. Just as our parents walk into the house, the Furby, blessedly, quiets down. The dreaded beast has finally sought rest. All is still in our room except for our hearts which are mocking us by running all over the place. We did our best to quiet our breathing in case one or both of our parents decided to check in on us. Our mother did. We covered our faces to pretend that we were asleep. She stood there for a minute then she walked away. We did not move until we heard their bedroom door close behind them. Even still we gave it a few seconds just to be on the safe side. Once we came up for air, we both dissolved into giggles that had us crying. We still reference that moment as The Furby Incident. I have thought about trying to find the Furby that we had and give it to her as a gift for either her birthday or Christmas. Whenever our family gets together and reminisces about the past, we will bring this story up laughing nearly the entire time. Our reaction to either hearing about Furbies or seeing them always causes us to laugh about that night all over again.
By Analicia Monique Spivey5 years ago in Humans
THE BANANA LADY
* note: The following is a true story, with the real-life names of people involved changed. * The year was 2011. I had just gotten my license & became street legal. Though able to drive, I was still very young & nervous about being responsible for other peoples' safety in my car.
By Billy The Kid5 years ago in Humans
