breakups
When it comes to breakups, pain is inevitable, but Humans thinks that suffering is optional.
Broken Love
You know what’s dumb? I hurt you, because I didn’t know any better. Because I had just come out of a relationship built off lies and drugs. You wanted to save me, but you weren’t ready for what that actually entailed. You loved me because I was crazy and wild, but after a while you couldn’t handle it anymore and the same reason that made you intrigued by me, also made you lose your mind and despise me. And it was my fault. Everything was my fault. But you see the thing is, is that I threw a snowball, and you turned them into avalanches. That wind I blew, you turned it into a tornado. Those rocks that were a bit hot, you turned them into a fucking volcano, and with your anger it blew up and destroyed everything in sight.
By Gisele Goett5 years ago in Humans
Echoes of Criticism
Outside the window of the living room, I notice the sunlight is beginning to dim as another day has reached its end. What wasted weeks I have spent marking off the calendar day after day. Little blank boxes on the page quickly filling up with big bold X’s. Opportunities may be waiting out there with a bright future in store for me. As much as I desire to go out in search of them, I cannot seem to budge. I am lost in life as if I have wandered off familiar trails. Every tree looks the same now so how can I find my way back?
By Violet Holt6 years ago in Humans
I am a Survivor.
I am a single mom of 5 kids. I have 2 jobs, attend studies at a university full time and am working to launch my own business. I am 30 years old and I have been a single mom from the age of 16. My children are the light at the end of the tunnel- of whom without I never could have survived what I have up until now. This is my story.
By marion scott6 years ago in Humans
My Dance With The Devil
It was the fall of 1995. I was headed out of town to go see a man about a horse. I know how that may sound but it actually is the real story. A friend of my mom’s boyfriend had a friend who owned a couple horses that needed some ride time. A year earlier, I had to sell my horse back to the barn I was buying her from because at 18 years old I just couldn’t afford her and the rest of my bills. It was hard to do but there was no helping it. So, here came an opportunity through a friend of a friend for me to get some one on one time with horses and for free too. I couldn't pass it up.
By There's More6 years ago in Humans
Time For ME
My life has been nothing but a roller-coaster ride. From almost passing away as an infant, to recently leaving my abusive husband. I had meningitis at 15 years old. I had at least 4 surgeries to correct the hearing in my left ear (which never happened). As I've gotten older, I've been diagnosed as bi-polar, severe anxiety and depression. I had braces as an early teenager only to have most of my baby and adult teeth extracted when I got older due to them cracking and breaking from the medications I had been put on to control my mental health. For years and years, I suffered from horrible menstrual cycles to the point where I took myself to the emergency room because I had lost so much blood. Always tired and not feeling any energy led me to Texas Oncology where I have been diagnosed as having severe anemia, b12 and iron deficiencies. I've had to have 2 iron infusions as well as one iron in-fed. I get b12 shots every month. And my levels are still not normal. I even got a bone marrow biopsy to see if I possibly had lupus. Thankfully, the test came back negative. So, what do I have? I have an auto-immune disorder and Chronic Kidney Disease Stage 2. All while this is going on, my husband kept pushing me and pushing me to do things I didn't want to do. Like be around people. I have my days where I just don't want to deal with anyone. It's not that I don't like them, it's just how I take a step back to let my mind clear. I love to listen to music. He would get mad cause I didn't want to watch T.V. with him. T.V. was not my thing, unless it was America's Funniest Home Videos. On top of that mess, my dad has Alzheimer's Disease and was living in a veteran's home near us, but he had to be transferred to another facility upstate. It takes almost 4 hours to go visit him. And usually after about a half hour or so, he's ready for us to go cause he is tired. He is actually my step-dad, since my biological father left me and my mom when I was 3 and wasn't really a part of my life until after I had turned 21. So all my life I felt unwanted and unloved even though my "dad" treated me and loved me as if I was his blood daughter. So I grew up with a lot of hatred and resentment towards men. How could my biological father not want me? If my own father didn't want me, why would any other man want me as I got older? I was physically and mentally abused by one of my ex-boyfriends who was an alcoholic and addicted to drugs. I was with him for four years until he landed in jail again, and I left while he was locked up. My next boyfriend is someone I met while attending day-therapy for my mental health. He was also an alcoholic, and I should have known better than to hook up with someone who's in the same predicament I was in mentally. We moved to Texas from New York State to live closer to my mom and try to save our relationship, but it did not work. We got him a bus ticket back to NYS and I tried to move on with my life. About a year later, I met my now-husband. He was great at first, as they all are. He was an alcoholic too, but he made me laugh and I felt protected when he was sober. It was only after he did 6 months in jail for child support that he got worse. He would yell at me for stupid little things. He would pick on me for everything I did. If I tried to cook dinner, he would tell me what to do as if I had no clue what I was doing. He had a rough life also having lost his dad at a young age to suicide. He harbored anger issues too. I tried and tried so hard to keep the peace and married him in the hopes that he would realize I wasn't the enemy anymore. That lasted just 2 years. About two months ago, he was on a drunken rage, smashing his forehead against the shower doors and threatening me. I finally had had enough. While he was on the toilet throwing a temper tantrum, I thought quick and decided I wanted out. Bad. So I grabbed and stuffed my 4 cats into two carriers and left. About a half hour later, he calls me asking me why I left and that he didn't know what he had done. Sadly, years and years of the same stuff built up to the point where I knew if I didn't take this chance to leave, I never would. Or he wouldn't let me. I went to my mom's house that night and I have not gone back. Suddenly he realizes he can't live without me and wants to do anything I tell him to. I told him to be there for his daughter and granddaughter. He threatens to kill himself. I told him that is selfish. I tried and tried for many years to try and make our relationship work. But I was left feeling empty inside and not good enough for him and maybe that's why he always got mad at me. No. It was not me. It was him. This whole time. I, to a certain level, do love him, but I can't tolerate any more of the abuse. It has not been easy on me either to leave him. After all, I married him. I broke down crying on the way to work last week because I felt bad for leaving him, like my father left me. But I had to finally say enough is enough. And it was hard. I don't like hurting people. That's not my nature. But that night he had his tantrum, I had never felt so much fear in my life. So now, it's my turn to be happy. I deserve it.
By Vanna Vorbach6 years ago in Humans
One last goodbye
he man I fell in love with, he was a lie. He was a falsity that you so methodically created, a mask you wore while we were together, to hide the evils you allowed to consume you. The evils you were too much of a coward to speak of. I served only as a stage prop for you, for the narcissistic ego-maniacal screenplay you wrote along the way. I was a coverup, a disguise and a distraction. And when the plot thickened you became weaker and weaker as I in turn became stronger and stronger. That's when the resentment and the hatred thrived. I went to jail and you were finally able to have your fun. To fuck everything and everyone that you came across. You had no self respect not to mention respect for your fiance, the one person who stuck by your side even when I never should have stayed. You chose to fuck the most foul human beings possible while I was suffering. You disgraced not only me but yourself with all the hideous shit you thought you were clever enough to keep from me. You paraded around and bragged like it was something to be proud of. I will never understand why, why you were so intent on hurting me. Did you ever take a second and ask yourself what you were doing? No, of course not. You are a weak, desperate, lonely, loveless, selfish, pathetic, coward-ess, closet homesexual. You wouldn't believe all the people who contacted me and told me the truth about you, the people who you thought would stay quiet. They all finally see who you really are and they have now been by my side through all this bullshit you have put me through. I thought you were the one humiliating me, but really you have destroyed your own name, destroyed your future, destroyed every relationship and friendship in your life. Do you even have the capacity to care for another living thing? All you have done is make enemies, and lost anyone that ever cared about you. All you have done is hurt others and yourself, and for what? Having meaningless sex?
By Chelsa Marie Berg6 years ago in Humans
HE DUMPED ME!
We all have gone through relationship breakups, but it is never easy. Why? Because all of a sudden that person is not there. He/she is no longer is a part of your life. Your life is shattered as you know it. The whole landscape of your life. People may say you got to move on but first you need to move through. Like experiencing a death of a loved one, there are phases that you go through in a breakup: (not necessarily in this order and often you repeat different phases again and again)
By Martha Cardon6 years ago in Humans
What Might Have Been
Before she closes her eyes at night, her last thought is of him. Then when she wakes in the morning, her first thought is of him. He makes her smile like no one else has ever done. Just hearing his name gives her butterflies. When they are not together she yearns for him. Yet she knows that time apart is a good thing because it makes the next time they are together more amazing.
By Bekah Milstead6 years ago in Humans
