This feeling😒

Hello 👋 This is my feeling!

I just wanna tell you inspite everything I’ve been through, it’s you I still think about all the time. You left but I feel you are with me, I think the good parts in your stead. You don’t call me but I assume you do when you call for almost trivial or irrelevant talks. This feeling is stupid and annoying, you didn’t say anything but I can feel you don’t give a damn anymore! But why? Why? Why? Just why do I still feel this way? Why do I feel like someday my phone would ring and it would be you calling to check up on me and not just the trivial talks. I sometimes feel I should just as well forget everything and move on but something inside of me still yearns for you and possibly you’d be bold enough one day to tell me exactly how you feel as well......... But we never had an agreement, is it one sided?😔

This feeling is stupid and annoying 😒

To the many times I wanted to hit you up for a chat, wanted to call to hear you talk, wanted nothing but you to tease me like you used to do. Oh my God, I miss those days...... I know I didn’t fall in love with you when you were crazily in love in me, almost regretting my actions then. But is it too late? Okay if you don’t love me, why do you still call me over trivial issues? Why do you still view my posts and comment on them? Why do you reply almost immediately when I chat you up? Are you confusing me? Are you paying back? Are you intentionally doing this? If yes, please stop.......

I remember the very beginning, those days were the best😌 I miss everything about those times, when you’d act so prettily jealous for having talking to another, when we kissed so easily and deeply, when that little space of ours was the best and hoped for a better future. You found your future before me and I felt left behind, now you’re in a world unknown to me. I fear to ask because I don’t wanna be caught, this lingering feeling isn’t clear to me. I don’t wanna seem like I’m begging for your attention because I’d seem desperate, we had history together.

Can you tell me you still love me? I already heard you say you liked me😊 but can it be clearer? Can you sometimes call me?🤙 can you seem to have my time? Can you tease me like you do when we were together? Can this be more serious? Even if it’s Yes, am I ready?🤦‍♀️ I think I am the one with the bigger problem, good thing you didn’t entangle yourself with my feelings. I am a big scraredycat who isn’t ready to face the law of cause and effect. I am walking on the safe side, I don’t want to be hurt nor used. I am not sure I am ready to face the untamed, unpredictable and undecided world this is, you want who is ready and not hanging around like a kid or who isn’t sure of what she wants.... I am sure of what I want but can I get it? Can love give me? Can your love give me? Till I am ready, all I need is time. Time to be ripened, time to develop, time to have a choice, time to be responsible for my choice, time to feel secured, time to be able to stand and do well with my life.... But all these doesn’t matter to you because it’s my life

I’m yet to get it properly............