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I wake

thoughts at 4am

By A. J. SchoenfeldPublished about 15 hours ago 2 min read
I wake
Photo by Abdülkadir Vardi on Unsplash

It's 4am

I wake

like clockwork

too hot

drenched in sweat

Needing to pee

I s t u m b l e

to the bathroom

then back to bed

now...

I'm freezing

I pull the blankets

up around my chin

close my eyes

and start to d r i f t

but a thought

wriggles in like a worm

unwanted

impossible to ignore

pushing my eyelids

o p e n

once more

it was Kyile's birthday

I forgot

I r e a c h

for my phone

set a reminder

-

I r o l l

onto my side

let my lids

s

e

t

t

l

e

back

surrender to sleep

f

a

l

l

i

n

g

into

its comforting folds

until an idea

CRASHES

through

the silence

sending me

bolt upright

it's garbage day

I need to get the cans out

I set an earlier alarm

-

I take a

d

e

e

p

b r e a t h

curl into a tight

ball

let s l u m b e r

envelope

me

t

u

m

b

l

i

n

g

into a dark void

when I fall into

another

ROAD BLOCK

I forgot to send that email

the report is late

...again

I set

another reminder

-

I r o l l

onto my other side

snuggle up

against him

slipping my icy toes

between his toasty feet

d r e a m s

wrap round

lulling me

p e a c e f u l l y

I find myself

d

r

i

f

t

i

n

g

through a still sea

c a l m & s e r e n e

until the current

pulls me

unbidden

into the RAPIDS

of a t e m p e s t u o u s

river

tossing me

b a c k & f o r t h

against BOULDERS

of invading thought

I forgot to pick up bread

what am I going to make

for school lunches?

the raft

j a r s

angrily

as it bounces

back

the car registration

is up next week

now

I'm

spinning

in circles

SLAMMING

backward

into

time to pay tuition

for next tri

water

splashes

up...

-

I wake

too hot

drenched in sweat

Needing to pee

I s t u m b l e

to the bathroom

then back to bed

-

it's 5am

I can still get in

one

m o r e

h . o . u . r

but now...

I'm freezing

I wrap the blanket

tight

and slip off to...

I forgot the deadline

for the last Vocal challenge

Free VerseStream of Consciousness

About the Creator

A. J. Schoenfeld

I only write about the real world. But if you look close enough, you'll see there's magic hiding in plain sight everywhere.

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Comments (7)

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  • Matthew J. Frommabout 4 hours ago

    This is like looking into the inside of my brain this week…

  • Sara Wilsonabout 11 hours ago

    I hate when this happens! You just wanna sleep and your brain work shutup lol. You wrote that perfectly!

  • Mariann Carrollabout 12 hours ago

    Thats a busy mind. It needs a vacation . Thank God for smart phone to remind us of todo list.

  • Imola Tóthabout 13 hours ago

    It's exactly like this! I love how you formatted this to make us really feel into it. I could relate to every. single.word. Most nights I'm like this, tossing and turning...

  • Paul Stewartabout 13 hours ago

    Goodness, far too relatable really. Sorry you had such a disturbed night. Hope the day is kind to you.

  • Rachel Deemingabout 14 hours ago

    I don't know why the brain has to sift at night. I had two nights like this this week and then last night, I slept like a babe. I think it's our time of life! Sage for night flashes plus no late caffeine or eating. Lion's mane for brain fog. Ashwagandhra for cortisol. Plenty of water and less sugar and red meat. These are the things that I find help me. Oh, and exercise every day in some form or another. I hope you get that rest soon.

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout 14 hours ago

    Oh no, I'm so sorry about that. But there's always more challenges. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️

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