๐๐ฝ ๐ฆ๐ช๐ผ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐๐ฎ
๐น๐๐ ๐ฏ๐ฝ๐ ๐ฑ๐๐ธ๐ถ๐ "๐ฎ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ฏ๐ฝ๐ถ๐" ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐๐๐๐๐

A Letter Sent
๐๐๐ถ๐ ๐ด๐๐
๐ผ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ ๐น๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐พ๐๐ ๐ป๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐น ๐ถ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐๐น ๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ฝ๐, ๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐ท๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ป๐ป๐๐ธ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐น ๐พ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐น ๐๐๐ ๐น๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐พ๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐น ๐ท๐พ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐๐น๐๐๐๐๐ถ๐, ๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ท๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ป๐ถ๐๐๐, ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ผ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ถ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐. ๐ผ ๐๐ถ๐น๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐ถ๐, ๐ถ๐๐น ๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐น๐พ๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐ถ๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐ป๐ถ๐๐๐๐น๐ ๐ป๐๐๐น ๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐ถ๐ท๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐น ๐๐๐.
๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐ ๐ผ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ฝ๐๐น ๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐น ๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐น ๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ผ ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐๐ฝ๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐ถ๐ ๐ฝ๐พ๐๐ถ๐๐พ๐๐๐. ๐ฏ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐พ๐๐๐น ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐พ๐๐๐ ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐น ๐๐๐๐น ๐ฝ๐ถ๐น ๐๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐น ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ธ๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐ธ๐พ๐น ๐๐๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐น ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ป๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐๐. ๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ถ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ท๐ถ๐๐ฝ ๐๐ถ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐ ๐๐ป ๐ธ๐๐๐ถ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐๐.
๐ฏ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐พ๐ธ๐๐น ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐ท๐๐ ๐๐ป ๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐๐พ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐ ๐ถ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐น ๐๐๐๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐น. ๐๐พ๐น ๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐๐น ๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐๐? ๐ผ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐ท๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐ท๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐น ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐น ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฝ๐พ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐น๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ฝ ๐พ๐. ๐ต๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐'๐ ๐๐ ๐ป๐ถ๐๐๐, ๐พ๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐'๐ ๐๐. ๐ฒ๐๐๐, ๐๐ถ๐๐ท๐ ๐ผ ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐๐น ๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ ๐ถ ๐๐พ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐ถ๐๐, ๐ท๐๐ ๐พ๐ป ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐๐พ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐น๐๐น ๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐, ๐พ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐พ๐ธ๐ถ๐๐๐
๐๐พ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐ ๐ณ
A Phone Call
Then the phone rang
It was them, and they were not happy at all.
Michael X: "Hello"
Them: "What the fuck, do you know what you have done? You spiteful, incompetent, careless, fucking moron. You have had me in bed, in hospital, on the fucking toilet, clearing up my excrement and pee, ruining my clothes, and losing me time from work. They said it was MY fault, I should be more careful what I eat and who I trust"
Michael X: "It wasn't my fault, and I am really sorry. I don't know how it happened, but it won't happen again, I promise. Can I offer you another meal as recompense? I can make it up to you, and this time I will be more careful, I promise"
Them: "Seriously? Are you joking? You damned near poisoned me, and have cost me a fortune in time and clothes and cleaning up, and you expect me to trust you to prepare another meal for me. The best you could do is to get me a voucher for a meal at The Hilton or The Ritz. You are dangerous in a kitchen"
Michael X: "Come on, give me another chance. This is the only time this has ever happened, and it won't happen again."
Them: "It's the only time it has happened because you have never cooked for anyone else, unless you count giving your dog and cat pet food each morning. Are they still alive?"
Michael X: "Don't be silly. They are fine, and they love what I give them. I know I messed up, and that resulted in you getting very messed up, but I have apologised. The knives and pans are now cleaned, disinfected and stored in their drawers and on their shelves. The laxatives have been moved to the medical cupboard, so there is no chance of them dropping into any food I am making. I promise, this will never happen again."
Them: "I don't believe you, and I don't trust you. You didn't so much as cross a line as you didn't even know the line existed. I am sorry, we are done now, don't ever contact me again."
Then, the phone went dead.
Silence reigned.



Comments (3)
Oh this was so hilarious! Really a good one MikeyD!
Haha. Very amusing and funny.
That letter was very difficult for me to read, because of that font. I think I'm getting old ๐ ๐ I copied and pasted it to my Notes app to see if the font would change, but it didn't. Same happened in Google Docs. So I gave up, lol. But I did get the gist of the story from the phone conversation and it was hilarious! ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ Who the hell has laxatives laying around like that?!