I need some critique and feedback on an old poem; looking to enter for publication soon!
Don't hold back!
About the Creator
Jazzy
Follow on IG @jazzygoncalves
Head of the Jazzy Writers Association (JWA) in partnership with the Vocal HWA chapter.
Piergiorgio Corallo in blue
Photography often reveals more by removing elements than by adding them. In the photographic series Nel blu dipinto di blu this idea becomes the central visual strategy. The images are built around a simple but striking rule: almost everything appears in black and white, while a single blue element remains visible inside the scene.
By The Global Verge2 days ago in Critique
March 15, 2026
Merriam Webster - Word of the day: Tranche refers to a division or portion of a whole. World Contact Day is commemorated every year on March 15. It is a unique observance held globally to focus on communicating with extraterrestrial life and exploring the possibility that intelligent beings may exist beyond Earth. World Contact Day inspires people to invoke their curiosity and spend time thinking about the universe and the mysteries surrounding it. What is the “Ides of March”? According to the Roman calendar, the Ides are a monthly occurrence. In March and other months with 31 days, the Ides always falls on the 15th; it falls on the 13th in months with 30 days. The Ides traditionally marked the arrival of the new Moon and was cause for celebration. The word “Ides” is derived from Latin, meaning “to divide.” Mothering Sunday in 2026 falls on Sunday, March 15. Mothering Sunday, celebrated in the United Kingdom and Ireland, occurs on the fourth Sunday of Lent, which is exactly three weeks before Easter. Unlike the fixed-date Mother's Day in countries like the United States, Canada, and Australia, Mothering Sunday’s date changes each year according to the Christian liturgical calendar. On March 15, 2026, several notable observances and events are celebrated: Dumbstruck Day: A day to express frustration. Everything You Think is Wrong Day: A day to challenge and celebrate wrong beliefs. International Day Against Police Brutality: A day to raise awareness and advocate against police violence. My look at today, March 15, 2026 below:
By Denise E Lindquist3 days ago in Writers
Comments (7)
Beautiful cat
Awww, Pancake is so adorable! Please say hi to him for me! I've read your poem and left you a comment there. I loved it so much!
I'll give some comments, though some may be my personal preference/style so may not fit at all what you're trying to do; First of all, I like the style and content and sentimentality of this... but you want suggestions. I would retitle as "Coffee for your Heart" or "Extra Cup". For me, it needs a slightly stronger start. Just 3 or 4 lines (could be interleaved throughout, I think, if you want). I want to hear about the non-coffee lovable qualities of the unknown guest, perhaps, and then go into how happy you are that you can bond over coffee. Almost with a tone "is it silly of me that when I think of you I think of coffee? but this is why...." I also recommend shorter lines and tighter phrasings to find that comfortable balance between your almost conversational style and something with a little more rhythm that clearly feels more poemsy. There's some room for creative line-breaking if you want to emphasize certain phrases. Just some thoughts 💙💙Anneliese
Incredible job, it is a Sweet piece and I'm actually drinking coffee ☕Right now😁👍📝💖
I love the concept of the extra empty cup. Your poem is as casual as slowly preparing and enjoying coffee. I think eliminating as many conjunctions, adverbs, and determiners like (and, what, so) as fillers would lift your intent. Verbs - grinding, stimulating, swirling, dancing around my cup . The last line of thought is wonderful, How could you modify to make more emotive. This poem has undercurrents of emotions How can you release them? Example: “And now I still make coffee”. Could be something like — Coffee has awakened me again. Hope this helps somehow. Scott
Hey Jazzy! You've always been so supportive of my work, so I'd love to help! Here are my thoughts: - I would structure each line so it's organized into stanzas (I usually do 4 lines per stanza). For the poem's "rhythm" (known as iambic pentameter) I would also try to make each line roughly the same number of syllables or words so it flows from one to the text. - It also seems like some lines rhyme with each other, but others don't. I would lock in a rhyme scheme that stays consistent throughout. So, the last word in every line could rhyme, or only every other line, etc. - I also use an asterisk (*) to put space between stanzas, which I think looks nice. As an example, here's a poem I did recently: https://samsonite-luggage-offer.top/poets/broken-pieces-oa1ma0t9w%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E - I love the word choice though. As always you convey a ton of emotion in your writing, and you've once again stuck the landing here. It's a beautiful concept for a poem, hopefully the feedback helps!
omg well...I don't usually love critiquing but...because Pancake asked, I guess I have to try😂💕